Bringing a new baby home is a monumental shift for the whole family, and while you’re navigating the sleepless nights, your toddler is quietly navigating a brand-new world. It’s a big adjustment, and certain phrases can add unnecessary pressure or even insecurity.
1. "You're a Big Girl/ Boy Now"
We often say this with good intentions, hoping to boost their confidence. But instead, it can create pressure and make them feel like they have to grow up overnight. They may feel like they're not allowed to seek comfort, need help, or express emotions. Instead, remind them that they are still your baby too.
2. "Stop Acting Like a Baby!"
A toddler will naturally make some regression when they have a new sibling. Or suddenly they want a bottle again, or request to be carried all the time, or seek extra cuddles. They are not trying to be difficult, they need reassurance they are still as loved and safe as the newcomer.
3. The Baby as an Excuse
"We have to go home now because baby is crying",
"I can't pick you up because I'm holding your brother/sister".
Statements like this link the new baby to bad changes in their life, which can unfortunately sow resentment toward their sibling. Turn your attention away from the baby and use more neutral and general words that remain consistent and do not lay blame.
Instead of “We have to go home because the baby needs to sleep" , try
“It’s time to go home now, so we can all rest and recharge for fun tomorrow.”
4. The Takeaways
It is a beautiful, messy, and challenging journey to welcome a second child. The most powerful thing you can do right now is to give emotional affirmation. Great job with this adjustment you are doing! Just keep in mind that your time is divided, your emotional time is split, but your heart is not 🧡
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