“Terrible twos”, Do All Children Go Through It?

The “terrible twos” is a common term used to describe a normal stage of toddler development. Despite the name, it’s not actually “terrible”, it’s often a sign your little one is learning independence, emotions, and communication for the very first time. 

And it doesn’t always begin exactly at age two. Some toddlers start showing these behaviours as early as 18 months, while others continue well into age three. 

Why Does This Phase Happen?

Toddlers experience huge emotional and developmental changes during this stage, but they still don’t fully have the words or emotional regulation skills to express themselves.

At this age, they’re:

• Learning independence (“I do it myself!”)
• Exploring boundaries and cause & effect
• Feeling big emotions without knowing how to manage them
• Wanting control while still depending heavily on caregivers

It’s a lot for such tiny humans.

Common Toddler Behaviours During the “Terrible Twos”

Every child is different, but some common behaviours include:

1. Tantrums & Meltdowns

Big reactions over seemingly small things, difficulty calming down, or frustration during transitions.

2. Saying “No” to Everything

A very common way toddlers test independence and boundaries.

3. Power Struggles

Refusing meals, bedtime battles, resisting diaper changes, or not wanting to leave the playground.

4. Impulsive Behaviour

Throwing objects, running away, grabbing things, or hitting when overwhelmed.

5. Regression

Wanting to be carried more often, clinginess, or using baby talk again.

How Can Parents Handle It?

There’s no “perfect” response, but gentle consistency often helps more than power struggles.

1. Stay Calm & Acknowledge Feelings

Simple phrases like:

“I know you’re upset.”
“It’s okay to feel angry.” can help toddlers feel understood while they learn emotional regulation.

2. Offer Simple Choices

Too many choices can feel overwhelming. Instead of “What do you want to eat?” try “would you like rice or noodles?”

3. Redirect When Needed

If behaviour becomes unsafe:

“Toys stay on the floor. Let’s throw a ball outside instead.”

Toddlers usually respond better to redirection than long explanations.

When Should Parents Be Concerned?

Most toddler tantrums and defiance are completely developmentally normal. However, it may help to check in with a pediatrician or child development professional if you notice:

• Frequent aggressive behaviour that’s difficult to manage
• Extreme difficulty calming down even with support
• Limited speech development by age two
• Avoiding eye contact or not responding to their name
• Strong sensory reactions to sounds, textures, or lights

A Gentle Reminder for Parents

The “terrible twos” can feel exhausting, especially on long days with little sleep and even less patience left in the tank. But underneath the meltdowns is usually a tiny person learning how to navigate emotions, independence, and the world around them, one big feeling at a time 🤍