A Guide to Gatherings: with Babies and Toddlers

Gathering with family and friends can be a joyful experience, but when you’re a parent of a baby or toddler, it can come with its own set of challenges. Whether it’s a holiday dinner, birthday party, or simple get-together, here are some helpful tips to ensure that your little one—and you—have the best time possible.

1. Stay Kind and Mindful 

"She's so small for her age, are you feeding her enough?"
"You haven't started toilet-training yet?"
"Why are you giving formula?"
"Why is he still on breastmilk?"

Avoid comments about a child's weight, diet, appetite, or milestone developments as even casual remarks can cause unnecessary stress or discomfort for both the child and their parents. Unless there is legitimate cause for concern (and not busybody-ness), silence is gold. Appreciate and celebrate milestones that are shared instead.

2. Comfort Comes First

Before you worry about fancy outfits or keeping up with the schedule, always remember: comfort comes first. Your baby or toddler may get fussy if they’re tired, hungry, or overstimulated. Keep a familiar blanket or toy nearby, and make sure snacks, meals, and naptime are planned out ahead of time. The more comfort and consistency you provide, the smoother the event will go. After all, a happy baby makes for a happy gathering!

Also when planning the logistics of visiting or attending gatherings, keep in mind your baby's regular mealtime schedule as much as possible to avoid unnecessary fussiness or crankiness. Set them up with other young family members, like cousins or siblings, during meals. This can make the experience more enjoyable and help them feel included in the family gathering. 

3. Resist the Temptation to Compare Your Baby to Another

We’ve all been there—the moment when someone else’s baby seems to be doing something “ahead” of your little one. Resist the urge to compare your child to others, especially in public settings even though this mental or verbal comparison may come naturally to many of us. Babies and toddlers develop at their own pace, and comparing them can lead to unnecessary stress. Every child is unique and different, with each one going through their own unique path.

"Hey, how did you manage this?"
"Do you know how I can accomplish X with Y?"
"What are the tools you used to help Y and Z?"

The beauty of any gathering is that there is so much potential to share with and learn from others! Embrace your baby’s individual milestones and savor each special moment—they grow up fast!

4. Cheat-Day Holiday Food is Fine

Holidays and gatherings are often filled with delicious treats, and it’s easy to feel like you need to follow a strict routine. While it’s great to keep your baby’s diet healthy, it’s also okay to let them have a little fun with a holiday food splurge. #Cheatday doesn’t have to be guilt-inducing! A small taste of cake, mashed potatoes, or other festive foods is perfectly fine as long as you keep it in moderation.

Where you can though, look for age-appropriate textures and low salt and sugar options. Babies' kidneys are still maturing and won't fully develop until around 5-6 years of age. Too much salt can strain their kidneys, while sugar can increase the risk of health issues like high blood pressure or obesity. 

In a social setting, look for ways to modify what is being served. This could look like mashing, snipping, adjusting harder textured-foods, or rinsing gravy off of those spicy chicken thighs. Otherwise, a trusty thermos from home with your baby's favourite meal inside is a great go-to!

5. Baby-fy the Food You and Your Family Eat

Hosting soon? Take the dishes your family enjoys and make them suitable for your baby or toddler. Puree, mash, or chop up dishes into small, manageable pieces that your little one can enjoy safely.

For example, if you’re having roasted chicken, snip up the softer parts of the chicken (we love chicken thighs and drumsticks for babies!) and offer that.

Or you can also add a bit of fun! Shape foods into stars, hearts, or colourful patterns to make mealtime exciting for your child. This not only helps your baby feel included in the fun, but it also ensures they can enjoy the same meal as the rest of the family without worry.

Family gatherings are about making memories, connecting with loved ones, and enjoying each other’s company. With a little preparation and mindfulness, you can make these events enjoyable for your baby or toddler, too. Remember, comfort, kindness, and flexibility are your best tools for a successful gathering. Enjoy the special moments and embrace the chaos—it’s all part of the wonderful adventure of parenthood!